Hot New Fitness Trend Sweeps Nation!

Friday, August 22nd, 2014 at 9:00 PM
Hot New Fitness Trend Sweeps Nation! by Cory Vaillancourt
prancercise.com

As you all probably know by now, I'm kind of a health nut. And as such, I'm always on the lookout for the Hot New Fitness Trend. Obsessively. Single-mindedly. Unceasingly.

Also, I love horses. But as a busy professional and single father who doesn't have a lot of "me" time, I need to make the most out of my day.

That's why I Prancercise. In fact, I've been Prancercising for some time now, and for those of you who have seen me in person lately, you know I'm not "horsing around."

Prancercise was concocted by the not-even-slightly insane Joanna Rohrback of (where else) Boca Raton, Fla. It is a form of exercise that involves running around moronically in both the manner of and the company of horses. Actual horses.

Joanna's fitness scheme not only espouses envisioning ourselves "as a beautiful animal that’s a symbol of beauty, strength and endurance while we’re exercising in order to free our minds of any self image that may be less appealing," but she also espouses that you should be "striving to be the best 'ME' you can be!!"

She's quite an espouser, that Joanna Rohrback; however, that double exclamation point at the end of that last quote indicates that Joanna is genuinely excited; she's excited because she doesn't just espouse, she embodies.

And she's proven herself. Her first video exploded onto the scene (by which I mean it didn't explode onto anything) almost two years ago - not long before I became a devotee - and so I, ummm... devoted my life to prancing around in a field like a literal and metaphorical jackass.

But hey, I feel great. Yeah. Very great.

That's why I'm here to share the gospel with you, bretheren (and sisteren)! I may be chased from pastures around the county by shotgun-wielding patriots 6 nights a week, but as a result I'm faster, more flexible, and stronger than I've ever been. So if you want to be as badass as I am, put on huge hoop earrings, a chunky white necklace, a tight white clubbin' shirt, your oldest pair of black Stretch Pants, ankleweights, and a belt with a really abstract buckle, then prepare to flit about some farm field with gigantic equestrians who could end your very existence with one errant kick. 

 

Cory Vaillancourt is a brilliant writer/ complete hack and and be complimented/heckled at cVaillancourt@ErieReader.com. Follow him on Twitter @VLNCRT, For more information on Prancercising, visit www.Prancercise.com or check out a bunch more ridiculous videos at www.youtube.com/user/Prancercise

 

 

 

 

Erie Reader: Vol. 7, No. 21
Now Available — Pick It Up Today

CURRENT

Video of the debates at the Jefferson Educational Society

A short interview with the Delaware post-hardcore band. 

Opening the lid on a Hallo-wealth of activities 

 

An exit interview with outgoing Erie Mayor Joe Sinnott

 

 

Bolero’s flavors dance the fandango in your mouth

IN THIS ISSUE

Opening the lid on a Hallo-wealth of activities 

 

An exit interview with outgoing Erie Mayor Joe Sinnott

 

 

Bolero’s flavors dance the fandango in your mouth

Best-selling Author to discuss works at Mercyhurst

Anime convention sharpening up for fifth year

Thankfully, as the title implies, this kind of pop is surviving.

Personal confessions of a Rocky-addled mind

Artists reflect on their favorite compositions

We are gonna miss you

Tropidelic will be headlining a show for those who wish to get down to some rhythmic funk.