Erie Makes News! (Sort Of)

Category:  News & Politics
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014 at 4:08 PM
Erie Makes News! (Sort Of) by Cory Vaillancourt
TheOnion.com

Proving once again that fiction is often more real than reality itself, national fake-news publication The Onion has set its sights squarely on Erie and Mayor Joe Sinnott in a brilliantly-timed story issued earlier today. 

Regular readers of The Onion are probably no stranger to the fictional character Don Turnbee, the Erie everyman whose thoughts seem to consist only of fast food. However, in light of City Councilman Dave Brennan's op-ed in last Sunday's Erie Times-News regarding "community benefit agreements," the ongoing discussions over the future of the former GAF site, and the flurry of bayfront hotels that seem to be sprouting like mushrooms, one has to wonder if there's secretly an Onion writer lurking in our midst.

"Mayor Hits On Crazy Idea Of Developing City’s Waterfront, Green Spaces" is pretty standard fare for The Onion, hysterically detailing Sinnott's "admittedly crazy" idea of drastically remaking the Bayfront. The short story comes complete with fake quotes from Sinnott along the lines of, "I’ve got this strange feeling there might be some sort of upside to converting our unused and blighted lakefront into a family- and business-friendly hub of the community."

Even better, City Council President Mel Witherspoon gets name-checked as well, and weighs in with an absolutely hysterical quote. 

Read The Onion's original story here

Cory Vaillancourt is a brilliant writer/complete hack and can be complimented/heckled at cVaillancourt@erieReader.com. Follow him on Twitter @VLNCRT

 

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CURRENT

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A short interview with the Delaware post-hardcore band. 

Opening the lid on a Hallo-wealth of activities 

 

An exit interview with outgoing Erie Mayor Joe Sinnott

 

 

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IN THIS ISSUE

Opening the lid on a Hallo-wealth of activities 

 

An exit interview with outgoing Erie Mayor Joe Sinnott

 

 

Bolero’s flavors dance the fandango in your mouth

Best-selling Author to discuss works at Mercyhurst

Anime convention sharpening up for fifth year

Thankfully, as the title implies, this kind of pop is surviving.

Personal confessions of a Rocky-addled mind

Artists reflect on their favorite compositions

We are gonna miss you

Tropidelic will be headlining a show for those who wish to get down to some rhythmic funk.