Gen X, Gen Why oh Whhyyyy??

Category:  BloggERy
Wednesday, October 26th, 2011 at 8:28 PM
Gen X, Gen Why oh Whhyyyy?? by Cornell Green (user contributed)

I wanna take this time to comment on a social travesty of epic proportions that shakes the very foundations of my moral outlook. I wanna take a second and surf the tides of the ever-changing fabric of our social and cultural framework. Of the view of our economy as our culture-mirror. Of the dramatic interplay of business and life, of the society laid bare, exposing the gunslingin' antics of our rootin'-tootin megacorps, as they cowboy their way into our hearts and lives, and amongst the pantheon of publicly traded economic titans. I wanna talk about blood. I wanna talk about enterprise. I wanna talk about...

Why the hell they didn't have a damn Sheetz when I was in high school?

We're talkin'  about  kajillion different flavors of coffee and battered, fried macaroni and cheese bites, nestled cozily on some well-lit corner. I'm talkin 'bout touch-screen computer monitors, with big-ass, tasty-looking pictures of all kinds of juicy, greasy, salty, tasty food, that not only guides me through it's delectable digital halls of taste, choice, and abundance, but that begs me: "Make another selection, baby. Touch that screen, big boy! And another topping! And another! Yeah! Just" Ahem.

Thou shalt call its name by none other...

                                                              The promised land.

So, anyway, as I was saying... It's just sort of a social travesty, and at the same time, a wonderful victory of our economically dynamic culture... that these darned teenaged rascals get a Sheets.

 A high-tech manifestation of their every want and desire. Tailored laser-accurate to their overactively hormonal overly-sensitive and high-powered, space-age super-Ids. It's just sad that they hadn't worked that out yet when I was that age. It might have been fun.

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