Mayberry Ablaze!

Category:  BloggERy
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012 at 7:39 PM
Mayberry Ablaze! by Cory Vaillancourt
wikimedia


Mt. Airy, N.C.  - The town of Mayberry, N.C., is ablaze this evening as reports of arson, looting, and shootings continue to stream in. 

Reports from the scene describe horrific levels of lawlessness and violence not seen in the United States since the Los Angeles riots of 1992. At this time, reports of death or injury from Mayberry are still sketchy, but totals are expected to surpass L.A.’s 53 dead and 2,000 injured.

The spark that initially ignited this long-simmering cauldron of crime appears to be the sudden death of long-serving and well-liked Sheriff Andy Taylor early this morning. Taylor, who notably refused to carry a firearm, was known across the nation for his ability to solve most problems in Mayberry with his fatherly, compassionate style, usually in under 30 minutes.

Violence is expected to continue through the night; Mayberry's Deputy Sheriff Bernard Fife was unavailable for comment. We'll continue to monitor the situation and update as warranted. In the meantime, pray for Mayberry.

Erie Reader: Vol. 7, No. 25
Now Available — Pick It Up Today

CURRENT

Use this calendar to your “Advent”-age

A merry little inspiration for your local shopping needs

I loved nearly every scene of Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird.

Get out the door to see and hear what’s really happening at Scotty’s Lounge.

The latest Electroflux series will feature dRachEmUsiK alongside D.Minoza, greyscapes and Modular Moose.

IN THIS ISSUE

Use this calendar to your “Advent”-age

A merry little inspiration for your local shopping needs

I loved nearly every scene of Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird.

Get out the door to see and hear what’s really happening at Scotty’s Lounge.

The latest Electroflux series will feature dRachEmUsiK alongside D.Minoza, greyscapes and Modular Moose.

Dark, intense, and infinitely cool, Charlotte Gainsbourg’s Rest is captivating.

John Fetterman, a man for all cities, in push for Lieutenant Governor bid

 

Multiple outlets offer locally made shirt designs and more

Where next should we waste our billions of new gasoline tax revenue?

Justice League is nowhere near as bad as Batman v. Superman, but it’s not very good either.

2017 Best of Erie Voting Now Open! Vote Now!
Closing in
Click here to close now