Mayberry Ablaze!

Category:  BloggERy
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012 at 7:39 PM
Mayberry Ablaze! by Cory Vaillancourt
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Mt. Airy, N.C.  - The town of Mayberry, N.C., is ablaze this evening as reports of arson, looting, and shootings continue to stream in. 

Reports from the scene describe horrific levels of lawlessness and violence not seen in the United States since the Los Angeles riots of 1992. At this time, reports of death or injury from Mayberry are still sketchy, but totals are expected to surpass L.A.’s 53 dead and 2,000 injured.

The spark that initially ignited this long-simmering cauldron of crime appears to be the sudden death of long-serving and well-liked Sheriff Andy Taylor early this morning. Taylor, who notably refused to carry a firearm, was known across the nation for his ability to solve most problems in Mayberry with his fatherly, compassionate style, usually in under 30 minutes.

Violence is expected to continue through the night; Mayberry's Deputy Sheriff Bernard Fife was unavailable for comment. We'll continue to monitor the situation and update as warranted. In the meantime, pray for Mayberry.

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IN THIS ISSUE

You don’t have to stay indoors to achieve those New Year’s resolutions.

A cold weather checklist

Discovering Erie Bluffs State Park

David Correy will bring his alternative-soul singing talent to Basement Transmissions on Jan. 16.

The LEC elicits good vibes with every track of Whole Again

Lori Burke and Brad Pattullo’s imaginative journey

Alkeme, the new Mediterranean cafe on North Park Row, serves up pleasure.

Here’s the scoop on the region’s newest ice cream company. 

One of the world’s top hip hop acts is headed to Basement Transmissions. 

What better way to set the tone for the new year than to see some local talent release new music?