Mayberry Ablaze!

Category:  BloggERy
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012 at 7:39 PM
Mayberry Ablaze! by Cory Vaillancourt
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Mt. Airy, N.C.  - The town of Mayberry, N.C., is ablaze this evening as reports of arson, looting, and shootings continue to stream in. 

Reports from the scene describe horrific levels of lawlessness and violence not seen in the United States since the Los Angeles riots of 1992. At this time, reports of death or injury from Mayberry are still sketchy, but totals are expected to surpass L.A.’s 53 dead and 2,000 injured.

The spark that initially ignited this long-simmering cauldron of crime appears to be the sudden death of long-serving and well-liked Sheriff Andy Taylor early this morning. Taylor, who notably refused to carry a firearm, was known across the nation for his ability to solve most problems in Mayberry with his fatherly, compassionate style, usually in under 30 minutes.

Violence is expected to continue through the night; Mayberry's Deputy Sheriff Bernard Fife was unavailable for comment. We'll continue to monitor the situation and update as warranted. In the meantime, pray for Mayberry.

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CURRENT

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A longtime local car-parts sculptor gets Ripley’s acclaim for his delightfully out-there art.

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IN THIS ISSUE

100 years of drama, music, laughter, and family. 

A longtime local car-parts sculptor gets Ripley’s acclaim for his delightfully out-there art.

A call to save nursing jobs and chemotherapy infusion services at the Regional Cancer Center. 

Stop by VegFest 2016 and discover the fun in a plant-based lifestyle.

On Sept. 25, Mary Halvorson brings her current duo project, Secret Keeper, featuring bassist Stephan Crump, to Erie’s PACA.

The Colony Plaza parking lot will transform into an outdoor shopping and socializing event called Parking Lot Palooza.

This is the fourth album for Cleveland punk quartet Signals Midwest, and it might be their best yet. 

Fairness and justice take center stage in our commonwealth.

Handy emojis for Erie texting.

Audit looming? No problem. Just use accounting ‘adjustments,’ like the Department of the Army.