Mayberry Update

Category:  BloggERy
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012 at 9:32 PM
Mayberry Update by Cory Vaillancourt
wikimedia

Mt. Airy, N.C. - Disturbing new details are emerging in the continuing story of the violence that has overtaken Mayberry, N.C. today, the Erie Reader has learned.

Someone on the scene, identified only as "B," reports that a young, red-headed child known by the possibly gang-related moniker "O.P." has eaten at least three faces already and shows no signs of stopping.

"Oh lawdy, I do declare!" said "B," whose identity is being shielded for their own protection. "That boy done gone smoked up all my bath salts and a-took to chewin' on people's faces. Why, poor Mr. Pyle down at the service station, his face ain't no longer nothin' but a pizza -pie without the cheese! Now, how's he supposta go a-courtin' with his face all ate off?"

"B" became extremely distraught before ending the report. "I recon I better set a spell afore I catch the vapors," said "B."

The riots in the normally-tranquil Mayberry seem to stem from the sudden death of long-serving and well-liked Sheriff Andy Taylor early this morning.

Stay tuned to the Erie Reader all night long as we continue to keep you informed on the latest developments in this ongoing story. And may God help Mayberry.

Erie Reader: Vol. 7, No. 15
Now Available — Pick It Up Today

CURRENT

The endangered Piping Plover makes its way back to Erie after a 50 year absence.

Erie still getting its Sister Act together

Dispatches from an American in Cuba 

Award-winning woodcarver, Fredy Mallqui connects history and passion

 

Familial vibe keeps annual fest alive

IN THIS ISSUE

Erie still getting its Sister Act together

Dispatches from an American in Cuba 

Award-winning woodcarver, Fredy Mallqui connects history and passion

 

Familial vibe keeps annual fest alive

The chance to see Galactic Duo's Tony Grey and Ian Maciak should not be missed.

The Playhouse has planned a weekend of festivities to celebrate their 100th anniversary. 

Fleet Foxes hasn’t really skipped a beat since their first record in 2011.

The Erie Reader's list of top 10 favorite releases from the year so far.

Thick Skin

The tragedy of Trump’s decisions